The dishes are piled up in the sink. The laundry is overflowing
the hamper. The one-year-old needs his diaper changed. The four-year-old
needs a bandage. Someone is hollering "Mooommmmyyyy,"
from the other room. It's almost dinner time, but Mom hasn't
even thought about what to fix….
Everyday
there are thousands of women who have embraced their God-given
calling as mothers and yet are overwhelmed with the seemingly
endless tasks their job requires. Before I was married, I never
completely understood the multitude of trivial things a mother's
life can consist of until a mother of nine asked me to help
their family for a day. Not only did that day transform my perspective
on motherhood, it also marked the beginning of a life-changing
ministry the Lord allowed me to be involved in for the last
11 years. The ministry? Being a mother's helper.
If you are
a young woman interested in having such a ministry, below I
have answered many of the questions I most commonly receive.
I pray that this might encourage some of you to consider being
involved in this vitally important, yet often-overlooked ministry.
What
Is A Mother's Helper?
When I tell
people I work as a mother's helper, I often receive a lot of
blank looks. It is not a well-known job, though there is a huge
need for it. For me, being a mother's helper has meant wearing
almost as many hats as a mother typically wears herself. In
most situations, I have basically gone into a home and made
myself available to do whatever I am asked to do: cooking, cleaning,
ironing, mending, teaching school, holding babies, and lots
and lots of laundry! Some mothers have certain jobs they want
me to do each week, other moms just want me to assist them as
the day goes along.
Where
Do You Start?
The
ministry of being a mother's helper should begin in your own
home, with your own mother. It would be ridiculous for you to
consider helping another family if your own family is falling
apart at the seams! Before God is going to bless your service
outside of the home, you must be faithful in your own home.
I never sought to be a mother's helper, but as I was faithful
(by God's grace) to serve my own family, the Lord began opening
up doors for me to serve outside of my home.
It is vitally
important that you only begin this ministry with your authority's
full blessing and support. My parents felt that in sending me
out to minister to other families, I was an extension of their
ministry. They could not drop everything and go help a family
in need, but they could send me as their representative.
What Skills Are Required?
Before you
are ready to help another family, it is important you first
know all the basic homemaking skills: how to cook, clean, iron,
do laundry and dishes, and take care of young children. You
also need to have proven yourself in your own home as a faithful
servant. This job is not a glamorous job. There are definitely
fun moments (like when a mother asks me to bake cookies with
her children), but most of the time it is hard work, requiring
much diligence. You must be willing to clean toilets and sort
dirty laundry, and do it with a smile! Most importantly, you
should have a heart of love for the family. Your desire should
be to be source of strength and encouragement to a weary mom.
Sometimes they just need you to sit and visit with them. Seek
to build them up and encourage them through your words and countenance.
Whom
Should You Help?
If you feel
God calling you to this ministry, ask Him who He desires for
you to help. There are many ways God will bring needy families
across your path. The first families I began helping came and
asked me to help. As time went on, as needs arose in other families,
sometimes I would be volunteered by my parents, sometimes I
would sense a need and volunteer myself, and again, I might
just be asked.
When my
husband and I married and we moved to a new town where we knew
no one, I sent out a message on the local homeschool group e-mail
loop telling of my past experience as a mother's helper and
asking if anyone were interested in such help. I was overwhelmed
with response! From that time on, I have had no lack of jobs!
Before I
will start helping a family I do not personally know, I have
a long discussion with the mother on the phone. I also like
to go and visit the family. It is important that you know what
sort of situation you are going into before you make any long-term
commitment.
How Often
Should You Help?
As it is
in life, saying "yes" to one thing, means saying "no"
to another. Before making any kind of commitment to serve a
family, take inventory of your schedule. Ask yourself and your
authorities how much time you can reasonably commit to and still
fulfill the other responsibilities and obligations the Lord
has called you to. If you seem to have no time available, seek
the Lord's direction in whether you should cut something else
from your schedule in order to do this. Discuss with the family
their needs and desires. Some families would like regular help
(1-3 days a week) for an extended period of time, while for
others a few hours every other week or just a few days a year
is all they want.
Should
You Accept Pay?
In the course
of being a mother's helper to many families, I have come up
against the question of whether or not to accept payment. I
think this is something you need to seek the Lord and your authorities
for direction on. Please do not go into this ministry seeing
it as a way to make a lot of money. Keep ever before you your
desire to serve, give, and minister.
I have done
different things in different circumstances. When I help families
I know well (families in our church, etc.), I rarely accept
payment unless it is a very small amount. When I volunteer myself,
I never accept payment.
After we
married and moved to a new town and I began helping families
who learned of me through the e-mail I had sent out, my husband
decided I should begin charging a small amount. We decided to
ask the families to pay minimum wage or whatever was conducive
to their budget. This worked well as it allowed people to pay
what they could afford, without me being a financial burden
to them.
Why Should
You Become a Mother's Helper?
After reading
everything I wrote above, you may be wondering why on earth
would someone ever get involved in such a ministry? Yes, it
does require a lot of diligence. Yes, there is a lot of hard
work. But, the blessings you will receive will far outweigh
the effort! The greatest blessings I have received through this
ministry have been the wonderful relationships I have cultivated
with families by serving in their home. It is thoroughly rewarding
to arrive at a home and have four or five youngsters come bounding
out the door yelling, "Crystal's here! Crystal's here!"
I love being
able to afford mothers the opportunity to spend quality time
with their children. I love seeing the smile and look of relief
on the mother's face when I leave. I love knowing that I am
helping to strengthen Christian families and marriages.
Most importantly,
I have learned so much by being able to serve in these homes.
Being able to observe how these mothers train and raise many
small children has given me invaluable insight and inspiration.
You cannot learn these things from a book nor can it be taught
in a class. Through these families, I have gained a whole new
appreciation for the high calling God has given mothers to lay
down their lives to train the next generation for the glory
of God. Being a mother's helper has allowed me the incredible
privilege of taking part in that work.
About
the Author...
Crystal
Paine is a 23-year-old homeschool graduate, the blessed wife
of Jesse and mother of Kathrynne. Since becoming a mother, Crystal
stopped working as a mother's helper to devote her full energies
to being a wife and mother herself. Crystal and Jesse own and
operate Biblical
Womanhood www.BiblicalWomanhoodOnline.com,
a ministry dedicated to encouraging and equipping women and
young women for the glory of God!
Photograph
Provided By: Scott Schaefer
